FRISKY FRIDAY | FUCKBOY CHRONICLES

In FRISKY FRIDAY by The Ajland

Oh, haiiiiii! Been a minute since I’ve written one of these. Getting back into the 9-5 mentality after being on vacation AND during the mercury retrograde really was the worst of times. This retrograde had me alllll the way fucked up and I definitely have at least 5-10 more bruises and scars than I came into it with. Alas, I’m alive so there’s that.

A friend a while back gave me the idea of writing a post on ‘fuckgirls’ and while I started that draft, my brain span was like “Hey, let’s learn Korean instead”. Anyway, it kind of brainstormed into a bigger idea after giving one of my girls the same advice over and over again about the same dude. Y’all really still doing this?

And thus, a 2-part series was born. While my anti-feminism posts may give off a different idea, I really do love to support females; I just prefer to do it in a way that can raise us up without having to bring all men down. With that being said, there will be a reversed post of this released next week on fuckgirls; a little something for everybody. Now, ladies, I told you a couple of posts ago how to bring out your sensual side. This week, let’s figure out how to live your best life this summer by cutting the dead ends. Without further ado…

TL; DR:

Stahp it, rahn.

IN SUMMER 2018, WE’RE DITCHING…
1. THE INCONSISTENT FUCKBOY

I’m a Virgo and a computer nerd, so not only am I a judgemental asshole, but I also naturally have a minimum of 23 tabs running in my head at any given time. I, for one, do not have the attention span for inconsistency. Of course, not everyone is like that; now you have one of your girls freaking out because the dude she’s been texting with hasn’t hit her back in a week. Naturally, the inconsistent fuckboy comes back about a week or two later with a, “wyd?” sans an explanation for the ghosting. Listeeeeeen, unless his pipe game leaves you walking funny for a few days after, you already know this headache really isn’t worth it. While a man that isn’t your man doesn’t owe you anything, manners are still a thing. if that’s one of your boundaries… well, you already know what I’m gonna say. To the curb it goes.

2. THE STILL HASN’T CLAIMED YOU FUCKBOY

That screenshot you’re about to send to your girlfriend trying to decipher that, “lol” the guy you’re sleeping with sent? Put it down. “But wait, was it like a let’s continue this conversation lol or was it like a you’re boring lol?” Put. it. down.

Let me paint a picture for you… you’re sleeping with a guy, but you don’t want to ask, “what are we?” cuz you don’t wanna look clingy.. so, you just continue giving this guy who isn’t your boyfriend, boyfriend benefits, then get all hurt when you find out he’s sleeping with someone else… Sound familiar? Thought so.

If a man wants you, you will know. There is ZERO confusion when a dude is trying to claim you. It’s so loud that it’s basically written in size 40 font and highlighted in hot pink neon. Any time a guy tells you he doesn’t want anything serious, he probably just left out the “with you” at the end. Why are you wasting your best years accepting breadcrumbs from people? Stahp, rahnnn.

AT LEAST IT ISN’T YOU…

“I wanted to be her partner when we got in pairs in Spanish class. I was mentally preparing how I was going to ask, but when the teacher said to find a partner I just yelled her first name really loud. People stared at me and she was embarrassed I think. It is one of those times where I look back and still cringe”

– Seven_Kostanza [Reddit]

3. THE DRY CONVERSATION FUCKBOY

It really is pure agony when you have a strong sexual attraction to someone but the conversation between you leaves everything to be desired. If the chat doesn’t naturally flow and you find yourself having to brainstorm or ask your girlfriends how to keep a conversation going, he’s not the one. You 100% have better things to be doing than grabbing cabs at 2 am to a dick appointment with a guy who texts you “wyd” every hour??? Go learn a new language or something, girl.

4. THE CAN’T FUCK FUCKBOY

I’ve touched on this waaaaaay too many times so I’m not gonna bother getting too deep into it. If he doesn’t fuck with foreplay, cut it. If he rubs you like he’s trying to get a stain out of a shirt, cut it. If you have to masturbate after you have sex with them, fucking cut it!

AT LEAST IT ISN’T YOU…

“I was going at it and saw the alarm clock said 12:12. I looked up what seemed like several minutes later, 12:12. I try to focus and keep going until I finally blow and look up 12:12. I am so embarrassed I apologize and tell her. She picks up the alarm clock, peels off the 12:12 decal and says “it’s brand new and wasn’t even plugged in… you lasted fine.”

– waldo06 [Reddit]

5. THE UNMOTIVATED FUCKBOY

I’ve touched on raising your vibrations before via meditation, energy crystals, and daily gratitude. The beauty of this is that those things with lower vibrations naturally fall out of your life like a snake sheds it’s skin. This only works if you aren’t holding on to what’s not for you like your life depended on it. One of the main things you need to kick to the curb is those that are unmotivated. People that don’t have goals can be damaging to your own aspirations. Some people can’t handle others that have more going on than them and you will eventually feel you have to dull your shine. STOP. It is so painful to watch a girl getting her own paper and bettering herself all while being dicked around by a fuckboy with bad credit. Like, you’re really gonna let a guy that sells a few grams of weed a day tell you where you can and cannot go? Lol, bye.

That’s it, that’s all, folks. If you’re looking for some more Frisky Friday, with an emphasis on the ‘Frisky’:

Dating in the Millennial Era
When the relationship ain’t bumpin like it used to
How to actually pick up girls
Fucking 101
Whose mans is this?
Bitches be cray

If you find yourself lonely for the summer after ditching the fuckboy, as always, www.pornhub.com. Check back next week for the Fuckgirls to avoid edition! Hope you all have a good weekend, and as always, thanks for reading. xoxo