FRISKY FRIDAY | DEAR AJLA 2.0.18

In FRISKY FRIDAY by The Ajland

Happy 2018, y’all! First of all, thank you again to everyone that’s been messaging me their kudos’ on my posts. It makes me feel all that much better about coming back to writing this thing. This week’s a Double Double (Canadian lingo for those that don’t understand it) since I missed last week – Second post is here. If you’re wondering where I get these questions from, you can drop yours here and they get answered on these posts! Anyway, I’m already annoying myself with this intro so just follow below for the first Dear Ajla of 2018. Happy reading, kids!

TL; DR:

Y’all nasty.

DEAR AJLA . . .

Q. “My girl has a lot of “buddies” and she’s convinced that they’re all just friends and would NEVER do anything with her. Does she not know how men work?”

Am I your girl? LOL, kidding. Coming from a girl with a ridiculous amount of close male friends, it’s not really something we think about. Once someone is friend zoned, the chances of them coming out of there are slim to none. Would some of her male friends sleep with her? Probably. Do they particularly want to? Probably not. While the feelings are platonic, if she offered, they probably wouldn’t turn down sex (pending circumstance). However, there are likely no romantic feelings and neither is actively lusting after the other. In a nutshell, they’d probably fuck her given the opportunity, but I assume it’s not why they’re friends with her. Let yo girl have her friends.

Q. “My friend confessed his feelings for me and I’m not interested – what do I do?”

I repeat, as someone who has a lot of male friends, this was probably the saddest realization for me. Like many girls, I’ve had close ones over the years who I genuinely believed were not interested in me romantically or sexually, but after a break up had inquired about trying to be more. You can lose quite a bit of trust here as you want to know that you can exist without that looming over you and that you can be comfortable with people without wondering if they have other intentions. You can say you aren’t interested, however, I’m sure you know the friendship will probably never be the same. It’s extremely difficult to go back to being just friends once someone knows how you really feel about them and vice versa.

AT LEAST IT WASN’T YOU . . .

“Some dude posted on a hook-up site he had a gloryhole set up. I responded and he gave me the details. Basically he lived alone in a nice apartment, he had porn playing in the living room and a plywood door with a hole separating his bedroom and living room.

There was no talking, just showed up, doors were unlocked, put on a condom, put penis through hole got sucked off, orgasmed and left.

Everyone once in a while when i have had no luck getting laid or getting dates of tinder i just shoot him a text “you sucking” and he says yes or no.

Ive been there about 10 times now, don’t know the dudes name, never really talked outside of texting.”

Q. “Why don’t girls wear warmer clothes when they go out if they’re going to bitch about being cold the whole time?”

Because we try to look cute for you. Just give me your hoodie and shut up.

Q. “My bf keeps liking instagram whores on ig. what do I do?”

This was very aggressively asked, so I really hope I’m not the instagram whore in reference, ha! More of a general relationship tip: if you are worried more about the repercussions of you complaining about something than the pain you keep feeling from their actions, then your relationship is probably not a good one. Not saying you should break up with your S.O. but the goal should always be to have a relationship where you can freely express your concerns and you should be able to work through them together. Social media tends to cause a lot of arguments with people because no one is really clear where the boundaries are. It’s understandable if your S.O. is acting thirsty on IG, it can be embarrassing and to be honest, I would just ghost someone for that behaviour. As one of my favourite quotes says, “Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.”

Q. “Do guys watch porn together?”

This is something I’ve never wondered but after I read this, I must know. Will research and update.

AT LEAST IT ISN’T YOU. . .

“Shower sex with an ex. It was uncomfortable, water makes terrible lubricant, and her footing slipped from the side of the tub and she knocked herself out on the wall.”

Q. “WHAT CAN I GET MY BOYFRIEND FOR A GIFT?”

A blowjob.

Just kidding, take a look at my coupon cards idea here. Also, a blowjob.

Q. “What do most guys overlook that can easily make them much better in bed if they put more effort into?”

Stop furiously rubbing girls in the nether regions like a fire may combust. Additionally, whatever your idea of foreplay is, spend about 3x as much time on it.

AT LEAST IT ISN’T YOU. . .

“At 18, I wasn’t that experienced, but I knew it was going to be awkward before he’d even got it in. For the next few minutes it felt like a plank was rocking on top of me like a seesaw. I eventually had enough of that so I got on top. But for some reason he really didn’t seem to like me taking control. So I tried a bit of doggie, you cant mess that up…right?!

WRONG!

He just didn’t know what to do with my legs. I was happy just kneeling, ass up head down, but no he kept picking my feet up so I was balanced on my knee caps and kind of used my legs like leavers in rhythm to his pounding. Imagine if you will someone on a cross-trainer. The one time I looked round he just looked so confused about the whole thing.

To this day I cant use cross-trainers.”

Q. “If you fool around with a guy too soon, will he ever take you seriously?”

I think I’ve answered this before, or at least something similar, but anyhow… if a man won’t respect you after having sex with you, he had no respect for you to begin with. When a guy switches up right after you slept together, what you’re dealing with is a guy who was playing you to get in your pants. Thus, the disrespect was already there. Hooking up with someone on the second date doesn’t make you slutty, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to marry you either. The wrong question is being asked here. A common misconception with women is that putting out within a certain amount of time will either raise or lower the chances of the guy committing to them – bullshit. Whether you fuck on the 1st date or the 8th date is irrelevant. What do you bring to the table? Are you a good person? Do you have the personality to keep someone around after they’re done fucking you blind? And vice versa, of course. With that being said, if you actually wanna date the guy, I still wouldn’t bang too early. There are always exceptions that might like their girls a little more angelic.

Q. “Do guys talk about the sex they had to their buddies in great detail?”

I think all guys give out some war stories on their conquests – probably not the slimy details, but positions, number of times, if she was a squirter (Okay, maybe some slimy details). With that being said, guys who have a serious girlfriend or have mentally matured will probably keep even those details to themselves. For the most part, it’ll be a confirm or deny conversation. Any guy who brags about his lays with serious details is an automatic douche. On that note, girls definitely talk about their one night stands in way more detail amongst each other. Did you only last two minutes? Did you try anal? Did you eat her pussy like a retard on bath salts? Her girlfriends know.

AT LEAST IT ISNT YOU. . .

“A guy I was fucking had a cocaine overdose mid sex stroke. He’d done a shit load before sex, and just as it was going good he starts shaking and sweating and then has a seizure. I call 911, I’m standing over him butt naked, I’m in such a state of shock I end up opening the door naked when the paramedics came and didn’t realize it until one of them suggested i put some clothes on. Worst night ever. Luckily the guy went to rehab after he survived..”

Q. “At what point in a relationships are lap dances faux pas?”

I feel like someone asked this to have an audience agree with their side in an argument so I’m just gonna side step this one.

Q. “How good does sex have to be before you consider giving up Churches Chicken?”

His dick better be a drumstick.

Welp, I hope this was relatable for some of you… except the overdose. If you’re looking for some more Frisky Friday, with an emphasis on the ‘Frisky’:

Rough sex galore for those who are actually getting some
What it’s like fooling around in the Millennial era
Relationships 101 (TOP POST)
Not being a weirdo on the first date
Tips for not putting your dick in crazy
Tips for not double dipping your dick in a crazy side chick

Hope you all have a good weekend, and as always, thanks for reading. xoxo