FRISKY FRIDAY | SWERVIN’ & CURVIN’

In FRISKY FRIDAY by The Ajland

I think every female has had a time in her life when a man has either been oblivious to a brush off or has chosen to ignore it. Based on my experience, I’d like to assume that people for the most part aren’t that socially inept and choose to ignore it, however, I’m proven wrong too often. Last week, one of my male friends messaged me after reading my post on what women wish men knew and asked what the cues were on why a girl was curving them. I understood that I broached the subject a little vaguely as it wasn’t the entree of the post and figured I could further explain myself this week. Maybe she has a boyfriend; maybe she isn’t attracted to you – either way, you still not scoring tonight, homie. How can one be curved? Let us count thee ways…

TL; DR:

If a girl wants to fuck you, you’ll know!

ARE WE THERE YET? ARE WE THERE YET?

Men since time have been assumed as the alphas and it can be human nature to expect the behaviour to be as such. Our minds have been conditioned to be attracted to certain traits if you want to get down to it – therefore, it’s understandable why a man that cannot make plans can be considered no bueno. While first dates do not have to be fancy, not actually planning something to do is a turn off. Play a game of pool? Sure. Go to a beer tasting? Sure! Really, any date activity outside of sitting in your car playing the, “What do you feel like doing? “I dunno… what do you feel like doing?” game are more likely to be better received. 10/10 expect a follow-up curve if you take her out on a ‘date’ like this.

WHAT TIME IS IT, MR. WOLF?

While on the subject of being non-committal to the ‘where’, we can’t forget the ‘when’. If you’re keeping your plans intentionally vague for the first dates as in, “Let’s get together this weekend” – you’re getting an intentionally vague response back, as in, “No”. Am I supposed to reserve Friday for you? Saturday? Are you going to forget we have plans? Text me an hour beforehand to see if I want to go grab a bite? Brazilian waxes are way too painful to deal with wishy-washy behaviour. Give a girl a date, a time, and a place, or her schedule (and legs) will definitely not be open.

AT LEAST IT ISN’T YOU…

“He came to pick me up.
Started talking with my mom.
They got along.
He banged her the next night.
Wish i was joking.”

PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR

I think it’s safe to say most people reading this blog are either in their late twenties or early/mid thirties. (I know at least a couple of you are in your 40’s, so this goes double for you). I can fully admit I don’t have all my shit together, nor would I ever say someone else should. However, if you’re out every weekend and living like a frat boy who just had his first threesome, you might be getting yourself curved. Dating someone that parties all the time is not only stressful, but can be extremely unattractive. Life is all about balance, and if you’re missing work on account of being hungover – no one will be taking you seriously. Grow up or keep taking this self-appointed L. 10/10 curve, with a suggestion for an STD check.

SEND NUDES

If she wants you to see it – trust me, she’ll send it. Asking for them is basically an instant curve and/or a mockery of your entire existence in the girls group chat. 10/10 curve with no nudity.

AT LEAST IT ISN’T YOU…

“I met a couple through a mutual friend and we hang out for a bit one night, have a decent time. I spend a couple days afterward texting back and forth with the wife of the couple, thinking hey, new friend. She eventually starts talking up this friend of hers, Gary, and it is clear she wants to set us up on a date. Okay, I think, I’m newly single again after 5 years of bad relationship, we’ll see how this goes. She describes him as “football player build” – not being a sports person, does not occur to me I should have asked her to clarify (would he be a quarterback or lineman, for instance).

Anyhow, I meet Gary for coffee downtown. Suffice it to say he is a substantial man. But I think hey, I’m not perfect either, I’ll give him a shot. We have an okay time over coffee, talking about regular random small talk topics. He walks me back to my place, but the night is still young and he suggests hanging out and watching some Futurama. So I invite him up. As soon as we are sitting down, he starts talking about his ex and all the drama she brought into his life, and it slowly comes to light that they may not be actually broken up, he is just “seeing what else is out there.” Hrm. At this point I’m more than over the date and am ready for him to get out of my apartment – so I go to the restroom and plan on feigning illness upon my return.

Turns out he gave me an even better excuse to give him the heave-ho: I return from the bathroom only to find him on my couch, masturbating furiously. I freak out, ask him what he is doing, and he says “What does it look like?” and makes a motion for me to come join him. I was kind of at a loss at this point and I think all I did was say something about how he needs to leave – he removes his hand from inside his pants (did I mention he was wearing sweat pants? ick), shrugs, and exits. I never heard from him OR the woman who introduced me to him again.”

RUDE TO WAIT STAFF

Don’t even need to touch on this one; instant curve. Actually, you may even be curved mid-date. I gotta use the restroom, brb never.

FLEXIN’ ON MY EX BITCH

If you’ve been on a few dates and have been texting cute shit back and forth all day every day, then you randomly get ghosted, there’s two reasons this may have happened. While it is possible that they met someone else, I can almost guarantee the ex from Christmas’ past came back. Go buy a lottery ticket and accept that God’s blessing. You do not want to be a passenger on someone’s on/off relationship rodeo. And reason 2…

PLAYA, PLAYA

Women can be like the FBI when we’re interested in someone. To be honest, I actually remember having a boyfriend refer to me as Nancy Drew one time. If we peep something that we don’t like and it’s blatantly disrespectful behaviour, you might get that curve. Some battles just aren’t worth it, especially if it’s a clear display of how you act. Some women don’t want to look dumb out here so they’d rather just save the excuses and get up & go. Come correct or don’t come at all.

(MIND) FUCK ME

Maybe your dick stroke matches that of Ron Jeremy’s but if you can’t stimulate my mind, the chances of you stimulating my body are unlikely. If it’s that good, the girl might lock you down for a fuck buddy but it’ll never go beyond that. You can completely be a woman’s type physically AND be completely incompatible personality-wise. She wants to talk about politics and business and you want to talk about the bezel on your Rolex. I think these girls tend to be the ones most often mislabeled as they hit the biggest insecurity, our character. While money can impress some, a man you can learn from is extremely underrated. What can you teach me today? I know they say you can’t fuck a book and all that but that doesn’t mean I want to fuck someone dumb either. 10/10 curve but we could stay friends.

That’s it, that’s all, folks. If you’re looking for some more Frisky Friday, with an emphasis on the ‘Frisky’:

Relationships 101 (TOP POST)
What men think women should know
Banging in the Millennial era (TOP POST)
When your relationship’s trash
When your relationship’s trash because of you
Tips for not putting your dick in crazy
Tips for not double dipping your dick in a crazy side chick
Some lessons on picking up the ladies

P.S. – Yes, this is yet another early release, but this is due to my way too much holiday shit going on. Unfortunately, I’m under the assumption that this will also be a heavy return of Blackout Ajla so comments will be approved late. With that being said, to the man who put out a rant comment on this post, myself and some others are really invested in your story… Can you please update us what the gift was? And what else happened? Can I interview you for a post? Was the girl me? (Please don’t let it be me)

Hope you all have a good weekend and holidays! As always, thanks for reading. xoxo