FRISKY FRIDAY | DEAR AJLA VOL. 2

In FRISKY FRIDAY, THE RELATIONSHIP by The Ajland

What a busy week! It’s been a minute since I’ve had time to write a post, but it was time to catch up on the questions in my inbox. As usual, I’m answering anything and everything I get. I’m working on editing my drafts of some less risqué content and hopefully will have time to upload that on Monday. Until then, read below for a short and not-so-sweet edition of Frisky Friday.

DEAR AJLA . . .

Q. HOW CAN I ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE?

I don’t think I’ve ever “friendzoned” someone that I thought could be more. Attraction is pretty black and white – you either are or you aren’t. While you could play the hard to get game or whatever millenials are doing these days – there are literally millions of girls out there. Don’t obsess over one who just isn’t interested in you.

Q. What do girls wish all guys knew?

How important it is to trim your finger nails. Just kidding… Probably the importance of foreplay. Read all about it here.

Q. HOW CAN I TELL IF SHE’S FAKING IT IN BED?

If you lasted less than 2 minutes, that would be a good indicator.

Unfortunately, there are no surefire techniques to detecting fake orgasms. Girls, please stop faking it and rewarding wrong behavior.

AT LEAST IT WASN’T YOU . . .

New girlfriend.
Reverse cowgirl in chair.
I start to cum…
Dick slips out…
Cum shoots in my own eye.
Anger, confusion, frustration and burning kick in.

Q. Why do most guys love doggy style so much?

The scenery is excellent.

Q. Sometimes I just wanna cuddle with my girl. Is sex really necessary?

Drake, is that you?

Q. Is my girl obligated to have sex with me if I buy her something expensive?

Like Chanel expensive or…?

I truly never really understood the concept of having to barter for sex with your significant other. If one of you doesn’t want to have sex with the other then you shouldn’t be together. Don’t argue with me – it’s true.

Q. Why are guys obsessed with doing the butt?

I think it’s a taboo thing and maybe it’s tighter? I’m not a guy so I can’t confirm. Plus, you can’t get a butt pregnant.

Q. Do girls ever just sit there and play with their boobs?

Sometimes.

Q. I’m not very comfortable performing oral sex. Is this okay?

Are you a girl? This is not okay. Are you a guy? This is not okay.

Q. Do guys genuinely enjoy how women taste down there? Or do they fake it?

Depends on the guy, depends on the pussy. However, I’ve heard good pussy tastes amazing.

Q. How can I taste amazing down there?

Pineapples, fam.

Q. I don’t really like vibrators. Are there any other toys I should try?

What kind of psychopath doesn’t like vibrators?

AT LEAST IT WASN’T YOU . . .

Late one night when I was in college, I decided to go for a run. I jogged a few miles to a park, and I was feeling pretty good, so I decided to finish by sprinting up a really big steep hill.

I get to the top, now feeling like I’m about to pass out, and as I stagger around panting and gasping, I look up and I see the fleshy shadow of two people tangled up on a blanket a couple feet away, clothes off to the side, looking at me and blinking. I’m so oxygen-deprived that I’m seeing spots, so I can’t help but lurch around them like a pervert, taking these enormous rasping breaths, while we stare awkwardly at each other. After ten or fifteen endless seconds I turn around and try to scurry away.

Q. Are men hardwired to cheat?

No. Some people find monogamy mundane after a while. Gender is irrelevant.

Q: Is Semen Fattening?

Nope. Bon Appétit.

Q. My guy friend told me while he was drunk that he’s thought about us having sex. Is this normal?

Yes. No need to make it weird though – he’s probably pictured fucking the stranger he saw at the grocery store too.

Q. Do girls think about their guy friends like this too?

Yes. Some.

Q. Do you guys ever swing your penis around like an elephant trunk when they’re naked?

To impress a chick, do the helicopter dick.

Q. If we’re flirting and I “accidentally” touch your hand or arm during some part of the conversation does that do anything for you?

I’m a germaphobe so if anything, you gave me anxiety for the rest of the evening. Thanks asshole.

That’s it, that’s all, folks. Thank you so much for reading. Leave me a comment on what questions you have!